In this post, you’ll learn about the most common factors that explain why you struggle with accepting compliments.
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You know that awkward feeling you get when someone praises you?
Well…you’re not alone.
Many of us struggle with accepting compliments.
Compliments should make us feel good, but often, they don’t.
Instead, we feel uneasy, embarrassed, or even unworthy.
Understanding why we struggle with accepting compliments can help us learn to embrace them better.
Let’s explore the reasons behind this common struggle.
Factors That Make It Hard To Accept compliments
There are many explanations for why we do not feel good when we hear praise.
Lots of these reasons stem from our upbringing and things we’ve learned in the past.
And most of these are learned without you consciously being aware of them.
Time to shed a light on those causes, so we can try and change them for the better!
Disclaimer: Not everyone will relate to all these reasons. Everyone’s experience with compliments is unique, so think about what resonates with you.
1. Cultural and Social Conditioning
One big reason why we struggle with accepting compliments is how we’re raised and what society expects.
From a young age, many of us are taught to be modest and humble.
So, when someone praises us, instead of saying thanks, we might say, “Oh, it was nothing,” or “I just got lucky.”
It’s like we’re breaking a rule by admitting we’re good at something.
2. Low Self-Esteem and Self-Worth
Another reason it’s hard to accept compliments is if we don’t think much of ourselves.
When someone says something nice, it can feel like they’re lying or just being polite.
People with low self-esteem might think, “They’re just saying that,” instead of believing the compliment.
This self-doubt makes it tough to feel genuinely appreciated.
3. Fear of Seeming Conceited and Trust Issues
A big fear many of us have is coming off as stuck-up or full of ourselves.
We worry that accepting a compliment will make us look arrogant or like we’re bragging.
So, instead of saying thanks, we might say, “Oh, no, I’m really not that good.”
It’s like we’re afraid people will think we’re big-headed.
Plus, sometimes it’s hard to trust if the compliment is genuine or if the person has an ulterior motive.
This doubt can make us doubt the compliment, too.
4. Negative Internal Dialogue
Ever notice that voice in your head that’s always criticizing you?
When someone gives a compliment, that voice can pipe up and say, “They don’t really mean it,” or “You don’t deserve that.”
It’s like our own worst critic won’t let us accept anything positive about ourselves.
This negative voice can really get in the way of appreciating the good things people see in us.
5. Discomfort with Attention
When someone gives you a compliment, it can feel like all eyes are suddenly on you, right?
For some of us, that attention can be really uncomfortable.
We might worry about what others think or feel awkward about being noticed.
It’s natural to want to brush off compliments to avoid standing out too much.
If you’re someone who prefers to stay low-key, being in the spotlight—even for a moment—can feel unsettling.
This discomfort with attention is why accepting compliments can be tough.
It’s like we’re torn between feeling good and feeling uneasy about the extra attention.
6. Gratitude and Connection
Here’s a twist: sometimes, we struggle with accepting compliments because we feel deeply grateful or connected to the person giving them.
What?
I myself never even thought of this as a factor for why I struggle with accepting compliments, but it makes sense!
Accepting a compliment can feel personal and intimate, like we’re opening up to someone.
That vulnerability can be scary, making us want to shy away from the praise.
Understanding Why Accepting Compliments Is A Struggle
Understanding the reasons behind our difficulty accepting compliments is the first step towards change.
By recognizing cultural conditioning, addressing low self-esteem, and overcoming fears, we can learn to accept compliments with grace.
I’d like to add a little disclaimer that these factors might not apply to everyone.
Each person’s experience with accepting compliments can be unique, so it’s important to reflect on what resonates with you.
Becoming aware causes you to be able to change the thoughts you have, which is the next step.
We’ll cover that soon in another blog post, so be sure to stay tuned!
But for now, remember that compliments are a gift—embrace them and allow yourself to feel appreciated.
In this blog post you’ve learned how social and cultural conditioning, your self-esteem, fear, negative self-talk and discomfort with attention can cause you to struggle with accepting compliments. The next step is to change those thoughts, so you can accept your praise!
You may also like:
- 12 Kind And Powerful Compliments To Give Yourself
- 5 Genuine Compliments To Give Other People And Spread Joy
- 6 Wonderful Reasons Why You Should Give Compliments
What do you believe has caused you to experience difficulty accepting compliments? Leave a comment and let’s discuss!